If you gave me a penny for my thoughts, I would owe you change. I do not have much to offer in terms originality or blow-you-away-insight. With that in mind, I am beginning this blog as a way for me to journal thoughts as I search Scripture for God's perspective on my life. Therefore, this blog is more for me than for anyone reading it. I do not want anyone to feel they have to read this blog, so I am not even going to send any friends or family a link to it, but simply allow those who find and desire to read it, to do so.
I begin this blog with a heavy heart. Quite frankly, I feel like Joseph sold into slavery. I am 34 years old. I have been doing the same line of work in some way since I was 20. I am in a high risk, high stress profession, and I have wanted out of my line of work for well over 6 years. I went to school for five years, attaining my Bachelor's degree in Psychology a little over a year ago. This, all the while having a wife and two children to take care of. I do not make a lot of money with my job, but it is enough to support our family without my wife having to work.
I had planned to change jobs after getting my degree, but shortly after, we learned our baby who was on the way at the time was going to be special needs. She was born last September, spent 4 months in the hospital, and had 7 surgeries before finally coming home. Even still, she requires much care, and we must have home nursing to help. Needless to say, it has been pretty tough.
This is all where my heavy heart begins. I really need to make a change in my career. I have been doing it far too long and sometimes don't think I can last another hour doing it. I have been a Christian for almost 14 years. For most of that time I have felt a call to the ministry, most likely in the area of counseling. It was due to this that I worked on my Bachelor's degree, with the intention of getting a Master's in Professional/Biblical Counseling. I intended on changing to another line of work after attaining my Bachelor degree, and while working on my Master's degree. Unfortunately, there are not a lot of jobs where we live, and I must be more selective with the baby's needs being so high. I must be careful as far as insurance and other financial concerns with changing jobs.
Recently, I sent a resume for a job. It was not absolutely ideal, but pretty close. It would have been a great challenge and it was something I know I would have loved. Now, I had my doubts as to whether I would get the job, but after an interview, I knew I was being considered for it. Obviously, I did not get it. I am not angry about it, but am very disappointed and discouraged. The hardest part is actually seeing the light go dark at the end of the tunnel of finally getting out of my line of work. So now? I feel stuck, like Joseph sold into slavery, with no end in sight.
